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DOMESTIC
ABUSE
DOMESTIC ABUSE
Domestic abuse is the maltreatment of a person within a domestic setting. Abuse may be direct and overt, or may be disguised and covert. The focus of domestic abuse is mainly physical however, there are many forms of abuse that are used to control such as sexual abuse, verbal abuse, psychological and emotional abuse, spiritual abuse, economic abuse and social abuse.
It's All About Trying to Control
Whether alcohol and drug abuse is a factor or not, domestic violence and abuse is a very serious problem -- for the victims and the abusers. Domestic abuse is not so much about a "loss of control" as it is about total control!
Ironically, many batterers do not see themselves as perpetrators, but as victims. Even when most abusers enter treatment programs they are heavily armored with elaborate denial systems designed to justify or excuse their actions.
There are varying theories about what makes batterers use abuse on those closest to them.
One view is that batterers are hardened criminals who commit their crimes in a conscious, calculated manner to achieve the dominance they believe they are entitled to. Others believe abuse is the product of deep psychological and developmental scars, which are not gender specific.
One batterer who has now gone through treatment, says "the beatings, the verbal abuse and the intimidation were all about control . It was like having a new toy," he said. "I had the buttons and I could make her do whatever I wanted. I was trying to intimidate her. I wanted to control her for the simple reason that I knew I could do it. It made me feel powerful."
The Abuse Cycle
According to the Women's Issues and Social Empowerment (WISE) of Australia, the issues of power and control are essential to an understanding of Domestic Violence. "Domestic Abuse occurs in relationships where conflict is the continuous result of power inequality between the partners and one partner is afraid of and harmed by the other.
Although it can vary from case to case, and doesn't take into account other forms of domestic abuse, WISE uses the "Cycle of Violence" as a model for understanding violent behavior. A simplified version of the cycle are:
Build-Up Phase - The tension builds.
Stand-Over Phase - Verbal attacks increase.
Explosion Phase - A violent outburst occurs.
Remorse Phase - You shouldn't have pushed me, it was your fault!
Pursuit Phase - It will never happen again, I promise.
Honeymoon Phase - See, we don't have any problems!
Getting Help
The threat of physical harm plus the economic and physical isolation they usually find themselves in, makes getting help even more difficult for the victims of domestic abuse.
Simply leaving can provoke more and greater violence. Our focus is making available options for those seemingly trapped in a violent relationship.
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